The Luckiest 13

Today is the fourteenth of April, in the two thousand and fourteenth year of the common era. That might not mean much to you, but it does to me. Thirteen years ago today was my first whole day spent with a certain Canadian.

These were those anguish-filled times long ago.

My schedule has kept me in Seattle for the last two weekends, so I haven't woken up next to him since the 30th of March. Our anniversary, or date-a-versary as I often call it, taking place in the midst of a period of separation would have, at an earlier point in time been the cause of great anguish. Today it is still uncomfortable, but we've got this.

I'll be in a surgical waiting lounge tomorrow with my godson's father while his wife has a tumor removed from her brain casing. I'll be 110 miles from the only set of shoulders that fit my furrowed brow, but we've got this.

My siblings are in a tricky situation that I may have to get them out of despite the fact that they HATE asking their baby brother for help, but it will be OK. We've got this.

Himself just heard that his mother (whom I adore) has gotten some troubling medical news of her own, but we will rise to meet whatever need comes, because we've got this.

Reaching middle age comes with challenges. There are creaks and groans where before there were none, but there are also powers and rewards. There is a sense of satisfaction that comes when you walk into a situation where people you love are struggling and they heave a sigh of relief because "The boys are here."

Yes, I would rather spend every remaining day by his side. Yes, it costs us to be apart so often, but we're OK. We've got this. What can we do to help?

Diabetes Update: Moving in the Right Direction

On March 4th I went to see my primary care physician (first time I've met her face to face) to go over my quarterly hemoglobin a1c test results. For those of you who don't know, it's a blood test that tells you what your average blood sugar levels have been for the last three months or so. For people with type 2 diabetes, it's the most important report card you get.

This was my first one since diagnosis, so I was nervous that even more bad news was on the way. You see, I test my blood first thing in the morning, and I had been getting perfectly acceptable results for quite a long time, but there are always the dire warnings that your blood sugar might be spiking later in the day even if it's OK when you wake up.

The test results had been available to me for a couple days via the Group Health web site, but I had decided not too look at them until I had a qualified medical professional to help me understand their implications. I didn't want a repeat of the week after getting my diagnosis results imagining the worst and torturing myself with images of blindness and amputations.

I had prepared a long bulleted list of everything that was going horribly wrong with my body which I attributed to the medications, and my doctor was happy to go through them all, but first she wanted to share the a1c results: They were great. The a1c number was 4.9 (my diagnosis test was 9.9) and the calculated average blood glucose level was 94, which is in the lower half of the normal range.

She said it was the most dramatic improvement she had ever seen (admittedly, she's about 12, but still). She said I could stop taking the metformin, but we decided together to cut the dose in half instead and watch the results to be sure. The last thing I wanted was to go off that horrible medication only to have to start it again.

We did go through my list of horribly bad things, and some of them she attributed to how suddenly I had lowered my blood sugars. Some of them were likely due to the cholesterol medication. I left there feeling optimistic.

Weeks later, the body aches and fatigue had only gotten worse. I missed work on two occasions and spent the days curled up in a ball on the couch whimpering. I just couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to stop the statin pills and make an appointment to discuss other options for managing cholesterol, as well as my growing skepticism about its importance. (paging Dr. Gagne, paging Dr. Gagne)

So, I'm heading back in next week. Blood sugars have maintained in an acceptable range, so I'm going to talk about a further reduction in metformin and let her know that I refuse to take those cholesterol / torture pills ever again.

Project 32: Skirting the Issue - Continued

These are the fourth and fifth in the series of skirts I'm making for my beloved friend K, who has trouble shopping off the rack due to decades of courageous struggle against Cushing's Disease. You can see the first three skirts here: Project 32: Skirting the Issue

Each of the pieces is inspired by a different aspect of my friend's life and story as I understand it. Number four is my comment on her history as a child of missionaries in the Andes mountains of South America.

Continuing within my triptych framework, I selected three prints again, but decided to piece together the first and second panels to suggest the peaks of the mountains against the night sky.

The print around the bottom should look familiar. It's the same one I used in the Seattleite design to suggest the perpetual clouds we all enjoy so much. This time, though, the clouds represent the ground of the composition with the mountain peaks and stars rising high above.

The fifth was a request from K for a warmer skirt made from knit fabric. Luckily I was on my way to the Sewing and Stitchery Expo in Puyallup when her message came in. There was an exceptional fabric vendor there from Evanston, Illinois called Vogue Fabrics and they had an excellent selection of textiles at prices I have not seen outside of Manhattan before.

I selected two colors of double-knit cotton jersey that had a beautiful hand and a lovely sheen to them. The photograph really doesn't do the colors justice. They really evoke the green and blue of crocus leaves and flowers. Of all the pieces, this one has the least narrative / editorial content, but it will serve its purpose and keep her boo-boos warm and toasty until the weather here starts to cooperate.

I used a two-thread flat lock stitch on my Babylock Imagine serger to join the upper and lower sections together. As promised, it produced a slender join with the needle threads visible easing the transition between the colors. If you click on the photo you might be able to see what I'm writing about.

The layers around the bottom edge were supposed to be more lettuce-edged than they turned out. Live and learn, I suppose! I do like the piece, but am starting to feel ready to move on to the final skirt, since it promises to be the most theatrical.

A Moment of Grace

Last Sunday night was shaping up like many before it. Doug was at work until 5:00 pm, and I had everything ready to make a nice dinner of oven roasted chicken and vegetables with a side of red quinoa with butter and salt.

I picked him up from work and we came home. I busied myself in the kitchen while he unwound and caught up on what had happened on the Internets during the day. I set the table and laid out dinner, which all turned out well. While we were enjoying it and talking something dawned on me that transformed my experience. I realized that this was one of those times that in future I would look back on as a rare and wonderful moment of perfect intimacy, peace, and enjoyment together. Through some unknowable grace, I could see the timeless divine light shining through each moment. We finished dinner and being the wonderful man that he his, Doug did all the dishes while I stretched out on the couch.

Dear gods, if I have served you well, when my last night on Earth comes, somehow let it be that night again. That's all I need.

Project 33: Ms. Executive Hoodie

I made this piece at the request of a co-worker from NOAA's offices in Washington DC. She was out in Seattle on a business trip and saw me wearing my Dress Hoodie and remarked on the fact that she didn't own anything with a hood. She asked if she could try mine on, so I slipped it off my shoulders and on hers. She decided she liked the style and asked me to maker her one.

Having never made a woman's jacket before, I decided to make a muslin first out of cheap broadcloth. I was certainly glad I did! The shoulders, princess seams, sleeves, and pockets all needed major changes.

This is where my Garment Designer 2.5 software really comes in handy. Being able to keep all the basic measurements intact and just make adjustments is an incredible timesaver.

Construction was slow but smooth. The sleeve caps are the best I've ever made. Very hard to tell from ready-to-wear. The welt pockets are also pretty darn tight for a home sewer. I added a hanging loop, which I feel gives a certain completeness to it.

My favorite part is how the zipper worked out. The shell closes over it so neatly, and because the traveler is bright shiny silver, it adds an accent to the front that I really enjoy.

Working with the silk charmeuse lining was intimidating at first, but as the project went on I learned not to panic when it wiggled out of shape and just wiggle it back in.

I'm hoping that I can talk her into modeling it and getting some good pictures, since you can't really see how cute the shape is on a hanger. I suppose that's why women's clothing is so often displayed on shapely mannequins.

I hope she likes it! She is a stylish young professional woman in our nation's capital and if she sees something appealing in my aesthetic and skills I am going to hold my head up high for a long time.

Project 32: Skirting the Issue

One of my dearest friends is a woman about my age whom I met when she joined our Gaelic choir in 1997. After being close friends for several years, she was diagnosed with Cushings Syndrome, which is caused by a tumor on the pituitary gland in the brain. She had probably had it since her late teens, and since the net effect of the syndrome is to flood the body with cortisol, it explained her slow but steady weight increase over time and her difficulties managing severe anxiety. It's hard to be calm and relaxed when you have enough adrenaline pumping through you to alarm a small village.

It has been an honor and privilege to be her friend and walk beside her during her long struggle against Cushings. I can say without hesitation that she is the bravest, strongest, and smartest person I know.

Last year her doctors made an alarming new discovery and she needed urgent surgery. There were complications. There are almost always complications for Cushings patients, and very few people have ever lived as long with the disease as my friend has, so there is little science to help her care team along. At this point, she has been in the hospital for almost three months trying to recover from surgery and has reached nearly 500 pounds. As she continued to work toward going home, one thing became clear. She was going to need new, comfortable clothes that work with her medical appliances, and when you're a certain size, shopping becomes a challenge.

I knew it was time to take on the challenge.

I decided to design a small collection of skirts for her to get her started post-hospital. Early in the process, I had the inspiration to use a different part of my vision of her and her life as the guiding idea for each design. I have completed three of them, and have a vision of another two, so this is a collection still in process. I call it Skirting the Issue:

Frida's Garden is the name of the print

Frida

The first skirt was inspired by my friend's passion for the visual arts and her love of Frida Kahlo. I found this awesome print paying tribute to Frida's art and used it as the center panel framed in black.

Some kilt references, but hopefully not too literal

Albion

Part of my friend's heritage is Scottish, and that was the context in which we met, so I naturally wanted a design that was inspired by that. I found some Nova Scotia provincial tartan and used it for this design. The navy blue linen around in the third panel has pleats for ease of motion.

Seattleite

In this design I combined three prints. The bottom panel is leaves, both evergreen and deciduous. The middle panel is sea creatures, and the top is clouds.

Peasanty, yes, but I like it too.

Closer view of the prints.

I wish that it was a different and happier circumstance that moved me to work on these garments, but it wasn't. In the face of a situation about which I can do almost nothing, the only things that remain are love, friendship, and art.

And there they are.

A New Challenge: Diabetes

I went to see my doctor on December 2nd expecting to be diagnosed with arthritis in my achy, tingly toe joints, but that's not how things turned out. She decided to do some blood tests to rule out other possibilities. The test results started to roll into my secure message inbox late the same night.

Thyroid looked OK.
Kidney function looked within parameters.
Cholesterol didn't look so hot, but I'm a cholesterol skeptic, so that didn't worry me much.
Blood sugars. Not OK. Not even close to OK.

There's no known history of diabetes in my family, so I didn't know what to think other than that complications include blindness and losing your feet. Being me, that's the conclusion I leapt to immediately: that I would have to test my blood sugars a dozen times a day and jab a needle in my stomach before each bite of food and would eventually go blind anyway and that my feet would fall off.

I spent most of that week in a state of panic and despair. I stopped eating. I stopped drinking. Doug came down on his mid-week days off to help me back in off the ledge, but by the time I got back in for my counseling and education appointment on the next Friday I was a wreck.

High-tech glucometer and my sexy
new pill minder.

Reality was less catastrophically bad, I'm happy to say. I have to test my blood once a day, and the process isn't painful or even much of a nuisance. My prescription count has gone from one to four, and I don't really like that, but there's a chance that if I manage diet and exercise well that I can get off most or all of the new medications.

The sensations, at least the tingly ones, are probably from diabetic nerve damage and are likely permanent. Luckily they aren't too bad, and haven't progressed to numbness.

So, I'm learning to eat again, and cutting out most carbohydrates. I've already lost a few pounds and I'm going to go back to walking around Greenlake two or three times a week. My beloved recording engineer friend has proposed that we join a gym together, since he wants to get more active also to avoid this fate for himself.

And Doug, my hero, has been an angel through all of this. In his professional life he works one-on-one with deaf blind adults and has experience helping care for a fragile diabetic, so was ready to help right away.

A new challenge. A new phase of life, but not the end.

Project 31: Apprentice Robes

My godson turned nine this year, which was how old I was when I put myself on the path of the Craft of the Wise. A friend of my sister's called Lois gave me a little grocery store checkstand book called "Everday Witchcraft" and I was off and running. The story of my and my friends' self-guided education in the Craft is full of amusing stories, but perhaps another time.

I was determined that if my godson wanted an education in the Craft, that I would give him the one that I wished I had had. In anticipation of this birthday, I have been scooting him along gathering the necessary tools. Even if he decided not to pursue the path, what's the harm in having a cup, knife, stone, and stick around, right?

So, in deep consultation with his parents and with his own (enthusiastic) consent, we scheduled his first lesson for the first new moon after his ninth birthday. Learning the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual skills necessary to practice our religion is not a trivial task. There are many chants, incantations, and spells to memorize, complex visualizations to develop, lore to internalize, and personal development to undertake. I thought to myself that there has to be some fun involved too. Two things immediately leapt to mind: robes and cookies. This kid loves to dress up and is a major chow-hound.

I took him to the fabric store and he picked out a beautiful Kelly green corduroy and some pearly buttons. Made in the shade, right?

Two days before our first learning session, I realized that the commercial pattern I intended to use (McCall's 3789) didn't include the kid-sized pattern pieces. Duh. Several fabric store visits later I resigned myself to the task of drafting my own pattern pieces. Having no formal education in this science, I relied on my high school education in mathematics and geometry.

Wisely, I executed a muslin first and wound up re-drafting two of the pieces. The final result doesn't fit perfectly yet, but in about a year when this cycle of lessons is over it should be just right.

Oh. And the cookies. Oatmeal. Turned out perfectly the first time. I must be a Witch or something, since I can also fold a fitted sheet.

One technique that was new this time was not doing two-fold hems. I used my serger to finish the raw edges and folded once and topstitched. The result was perfectly fine and I think I'm steering toward getting a coverstitch machine because of it. We'll see once next year's contract is exercised and funded.