Ding! Level 47

You know how people reaching a milestone often comment that they can't believe X amount of time has gone by? I don't usually feel that way. When I look back at my calendar at Birthday time, I often think "how in the heck did I do all that on one year?" This year is no exception.

Tonight, I don't want to just make a catalog of things that happened, I want to share some of the important things I've learned while 46.

In September, Doug and I took an impromptu trip to Maui for four days. It was my first trip to Hawaiʻi, but Doug had spent time there as a teenager with his parents. I was not prepared to fall in love as deeply as I did. There was just something about the sustained presence of beauty that uncoiled something inside me. I have had a lifelong love of Hawaiʻian song, and the trip motivated me to learn a couple songs in Hawaiʻian. It was a very good reminder of how difficult it is to memorize lyrics in a language you donʻt speak. We hadn't been home for a week before I was planning our next trip in July 2013. Eight days on the Big Island.

October saw my successful re-election to the Slighe nan Gaidheal Board of Directors. It was a contested election with more than 3 candidates for the 3 open positions. Contested elections aren't the norm for our little community, so we all faltered a bit while we figured out how to manage conflict instead of basking in our consensus. It became obvious during election cycle that there were people who wanted me off of the Board and I have been struggling to find a way to live with that. Part of the answer was realizing that I really am ready to retire. At the end of my current term, I will have given 18 years of my life to Slighe nan Gaidheal and I think that's enough. I'll spend the remainder of this term wrapping up loose ends, upgrading infrastructure so that my skillset in IT isn't necessary for daily functions, and handing work off of to others.

Me and Auntie Pat

Kimiko Sakai

Some more important things happened in October also. My beloved Aunt Pat died on October 6th. Doug came with me to her service, where we learned that my mother's best friend, Kimiko Sakai had also died three days earlier. I was raised calling her Aunt Kim, and thinking of her two sons and daughter as family.

Eric and I in Cleethorpes, October 2001

Then November came, and news arrived that I had lost my last uncle. My mother's brother Eric had passed away on the 29th. Eric was the black sheep of the family, meaning that he had spirit and imagination. My mother adored him.

December brought two sets of visitors to stay with me and go to the Tutankhamun exhibit at the Seattle Center. Doug and his best friend Sophia, and the much-loved Robins / Rawdah family from Portland. During one of my trips through the galleries when Doug was here, I had a revelation. I realized that I was surrounded by objects, most of whose sole purpose was to preserve the reputations of people into the future. I sank down on a bench and began to sob quietly. Doug knew what was moving me, of course, sat beside me, and leaned in close. He said "Your enemies will never be able to chip your name off every obelisk. They can't." No. They can't. Furthermore, someone who believes lies about me never was my friend to begin with.

Tacoma's Museum of Glass

The first quarter of 2013 saw lots of preparations for my first big out-of-town concert. Puget Sound Revels selected me to be one of the Salon Series artists and produced a full evening concert at Tacoma's Museum of Glass. I decided to ask some of the members of the Revels chorus to be my backup singers, and they agreed. The show came together splendidly, and it boosted my confidence to no end.

One of the most challenging things to happen this year was a change to Doug's schedule imposed by his employer unilaterally. He went from working Monday through Thursday, to working Thursday through Monday. No days off together at all. We started living for our next Hawaiʻian vacation at the end of July.

Our Saturday date-night destination, the incredible Mirchi Cuisine of India was sold. The Mom-and-Pop shop which had lost its Mom to undiagnosed cancer the previous July passed into new hands. It's hard to describe Mirchi. I used to say that it was the best Indian food I had ever eaten. Now I just say that it was the best food I had ever eaten period. We haven't been back since.

A typical Mirchi meal

I finally gave up on ever finding the time to do a big CD mailout on my own and hired TradBlast.com to do it for me in June. I paid for 100 CDs to be mailed to radio stations and music reviewers around the US. It worked! I got some airplay at last. Probably more significant, though, was the airplay I got in Scotland on the BBC's Radio nan Gaidheal programs. There's a certain sense of approval that you get when you take your coal to Newcastle and can manage to sell a lump or two.

July arrived at last  and Doug and I made our second trip to Hawaiʻi together, this time to the Big Island for eight days. Well, at least it was planned for eight days. Tropical Storm Flossie wound up extended our stay a little!

Back to the subject of learning, I think the most important thing that finally sunk in, was that the people who deride me behind my back and try to undermine my position in my community are the ones with the problem, not me. There's nothing I can do to help the situation, so for the sake of my soul, I will stay on the high road and keep my eyes on my own goals.

Project 30: Dress Hoodie

There's something I find very appealing about the hoodie. The ability to just flick that hood up on your head and disappear, the convenient length, the moderate insulation, and the easy front zipper. The typical fabric, though, limits its usefulness for me. Jersey can be convenient and comfortable, but it's never dressy. Fleece is a little more structured, but very hard to find in natural fibres.

I decided to experiment and make a jacket with the silhouette of a hoodie, but in alternate materials. I used Garment Designer 2.5 to make the basic pattern shapes, then printed them out and made my plastic pattern pieces for the shell, lining, and facings from those.

If I had a tailor's dummy you could see the effect a little better, but alas, a hanger and your imagination will have to do.

It's about a half inch shorter than I planned due to a fairly dramatic construction error I made. I had to take the whole thing apart when I realized I had left the zipper only half installed the first time!

The shell is a medium weight suiting. It has a little stretch to it, but not enough to give me too many problems.

I quilted the lining pieces with some poly fleece for warmth. I read subsequently that you're supposed to quilt the lining before you cut the pieces out. That would have been a bit easier! As it was I had to mark the quilting lines, then carefully stitch to exactly the edge of the facing, then stop and pull the needle thread through to the back and tie it off. I did that dozens and dozens of times!

The facings do look pretty sharp, though.

I made a welt pocket on the inside for my iPhone. It came out the nicest of the three welts, I think.

On the outside, I made two welt pockets and finished them with snaps. In retrospect, I probably should have merged the bottom seam of the pockets into the hem seam for a little more security. As it is, the pockets can wiggle around and make lumps under the shell.

The hood is generously sized, and a little too pointy, I think. Before making another one I think I'll adjust that pattern piece a little.

I only ever intended this to be a practice run at the garment, but as it came together I liked it better and better even though it was made of pretty basic materials.

I think I'll make a few of these to figure out what I like best. I might make one out of coating wool with a simple lining next and see how I like that. I might also make another of these with the same construction and colors but with higher end wool and silk.

The most important thing I learned on this project was how to install a zipper in a lined garment. That's going to come in handy time and time again.

Project 29: Aloha Shirt

Last September, Doug and I took a short, (too short) impromptu vacation in Maui. It was my first visit to Hawaiʻi, but he had spent some time there with his parents when he was a teenager. We stayed at one of the resorts on Kaʻanapali beach, which was absolute paradise.

We spent just a little bit of time souvenir shopping in Lahaina, and Doug wanted to get an aloha shirt. We looked at a bunch of them, but the ones that were well made were over $100. There were inexpensive shirts, but they just didn't look good.

 We continued our exploration of the town, and happened on a fabric store. We went in to have a look around, and lo and behold, they had a vast selection of Hawaiʻian prints! I got the idea that he should pick out one he liked and I would make him an aloha shirt when we got home.

Itʻs March. I know. The Autumn was pretty horrible in terms of stress and drama, and it took a great deal of the Winter to get back on my feet and caught up. But now, at last, the shirt is done. I used my trusty McCallʻs M4399 pattern, but extended its length a few inches. Doug is a bit taller than me, but our inseams are the same length. He gets his height from an elegantly long torso (lucky bastard) so a little extra length is needed in un-tucked shirts.

The only challenge with this project was the pocket. I did some reading about the evolution of these shirts, and one of their characteristics is that the pocket is cut out such that the pattern matches to the body of the shirt. This is another instance where Paulaʻs clear plastic pattern piece method saved the day. I placed the pattern piece on the shirt front and drew around the outlines of several of the flowers so I could cut the pocket out just right.

I found some flower-shaped buttons for an added touch of island-ness.

Iʻm not showing a picture of it, but there was one part of construction that didn't please me. Despite taking lots of precautions, once again when I attached the collar and self facing and turned it out, the end of the facing wasn't lined up properly with the shoulder seam on one side. Grr. I wound up unfolding some of the turned under end to extend it to just about reach. That made hand-sewing the collar closed even more annoying than usual.

During this project I reached some clarity about what my goals are as a seamster. I don't particularly want the clothes I make to be indistinguishable from manufactured garments. I'm cool with small irregularities that show a piece was hand-made. As long as it doesn't look home-made. Feel free to leave comments about that distinction, whether or not you like it!

Project 28: Yule Ritual Robes

Anyone who reads this blog regularly knows that I'm pagan; more specifically, Wiccan. I honour the old gods of nature and my ancestors and have done so since I was a small child.

I attend a pagan congregation called Gaia's Temple, which is organized by a brilliant and talented priestess named Judith Laxer. Judith contacted me in November and asked me if I would be one of the celebrants for the Yule ritual this year. I told her no, since the schedule of meetings included a Saturday, which would mean missing a weekend with Lingoman. The ritual itself would happen on a Friday this year, which would also mean arriving up in Vancouver for a weekend extremely late. All in all, it seemed too big a price to pay though I was otherwise willing.

Judith wrote back that she could move the meetings off weekends and that perhaps Lingoman might like to travel down to attend the ritual… I replied that it seemed unlikely, but that I would broach the subject at the following weekend. When I arrived in Vancouver that Friday evening, about the third thing out of his mouth was "You know I have Solstice day off work. I could come down on the bus and go to the Gaia's Temple ritual with you if you wanted."

I wrote back to Judith when I got home. "You are some kind of Witch. I'll do the ritual if you'll teach me that spell."

At the first meeting I wound up offering up lots of opinions (are you surprised?) and volunteering to make vestments for the central figure in the ritual drama, the Sun King. Real gold lame was out of the question due to its cost. You actually have to use gold if you want something to look like gold, it turns out. I did, however find some semi-sheer costume fabric at Display and Costume in gold and crimson for a reasonable cost. I also found a very nice looking costume crown, which with the addition of some LED lights really said Holiday Deity to me. I got right to work. For the Sun King, I re-used the pattern from Project 11: Halloween Costumes for my giant hooded robe without the sleeves and added an inner robe and Venetian sun mask.

For myself, since I was asked to invoke the South and the spirits of Fire, I re-used the red inner robe from Lingoman's costume from Project 11: Halloween Costumes and added a new giant hooded robe in Winter white to represent Fire in the season of Winter.

Working with the shiny costume fabric wasn't much fun because it was so delicate that even with my serger I could just barely stabilize the edges with narrow 3-thread hems. The stuff wouldn't take a crease, either, so making the fold-unders for the neck and cuff facings on the inner robe was a spectacular pain in the behind.

I didn't want to spend a fortune on the white robe for myself, since it is likely to get just one use. I purchased a 100% polyester woven slubbed fabric, which frankly was only a little easier to work with than the costume lame! I'll be glad to get back to working with quality natural fibers on my next project.

This is the invocation I wrote:

Invocation of Fire

I send my voice through time and space
In all directions from this place
to summon the spirits of Fire!

You who are Summer's Southern Midday Heat
You who are the self-perpetuating release of energy from matter
You who excite atoms until they yeild their beautiful photons
You who liberate elements by breaking their bonds to each other
You who power every cell in our bodies
You whose discovery by humans began our technological journey
You who comfort us all through the cold days of winter

Arise and come forth!
I summon and stir you!
Respond to your sign!
Be here now!
Blessed be!

Thanksgiving 2012

Oh my goodness, where do I begin?

This year has brought a fundamental transformation in the way I view myself and my future. Before the CD and After the CD are really two different worlds. At 45 years old I went from doubting myself as a musician and waiting for the first person to be honest and tell me that I'm not very good, to honestly believing that I have talent and skill that rivals professional musicians. I'm grateful to everyone who helped me get through the recording project in one piece, most especially my cherished companion in life, Doug Barr.

Then, as if that weren't enough, another huge boatload of great things happened this year. If I go into detail about all of them this post won't be done until First Footing, so I'll be brief:

• 11th Anniversary trip to New York - Manhattan is my idea of heaven. Being with Doug is my idea of heaven. I had a double-heaven week.
• Played Folklife for the first time in a very long time as myself!
• Féis Seattle 2012 - a respectable success by any measure
• The Ohio Scottish Arts School - It was even better than 2011 and has gifted me with lasting friendships.
• Team Member of the Year Award from NOAA's National Ocean Service
• First trip to Hawai'i - I wasn't expecting to fall so deeply in love with the place
• Last minute opportunity to be a presenter at Dusty Strings Harp Symposium
• A full year of funding for work at NOAA
• My favourite presidential candidate was re-elected
• Marriage equality won at the ballot box for the very first time in my country
• Lots of opportunities to sew and grow my tailoring skills
• Lots of opportunities to perform, and more yet to come this year

It hasn't been a perfect year, of course, but on balance it has been the best one in a very, very long time.

Project 27: Resort Wear Mini Collection

Lingoman and I decided to take an impromptu extra trip this year. It came down to a decision between Montreal and Hawai'i. He has been to both places but I haven't so that couldn't be used as a deciding factor, but we eventually settled on Maui since I love mountains and beaches so much. Shortly after making that decision we found ourselves (read: I drug us to) Fabricana in Richmond. They have a great selection and very helpful staff. As we were strolling by the sale table I spotted a bolt of black crinkle-cotton for $4/meter. Pretty good deal, even with the unfavorable exchange rate just now. It's light weight but strong with lots of texture.

I made three pieces to mix and match with my existing wardrobe of summer clothes. Two of them I know I'll wear and the third… well… it might turn out to be just for lounging around in private!

First is a tank top. Pretty basic, but I finished the neck and armholes with bands of the same fabric and topstitched every serged seam which gives it much sturdier feel than the lightweight fabric would otherwise. Even though it's a woven fabric, the crinkles give it just enough stretch that it works in this kind of garment. It is really comfortable and just the right length to be worn tucked into pants or left out.

Second is a bowling shirt with a single breast pocket for cash, hotel key card and ID. I've made quite a few of these now, so the basic construction isn't a challenge. In the interest of ease-of-wear, especially when on vacation, I topstitched the front facing to the body and also put a line of topstitching around the collar and down the opening on both sides. On flat woven fabric it would look kind of weird, but on crinkle cotton you hardly see it. The biggest benefit of doing that extra stitching is that the collar and front don't need ironing. They're just a little wrinkled and they look fine. I think this piece will be especially nice for lounging poolside.

Last is my experiment. It was inspired by the King Tutankhamun exhibit in Seattle right now. I've been once and am going a couple more times, I'm sure. The pharaohs are always shown wearing beautiful gathered kilt-like garments that look so elegant. I wanted to create something I could wrap around my waist over a bathing suit, or wear on its own for that matter as loungewear. I'm not sure the result would make anyone think of the pharaohs, though, even if it were being modeled by a 20-something with a striking physique. It has a wide waist band with two ties. One on the inside a little to the right of center-front and one on the outside that ties just to the left of where a side seam would be. If it were either longer like a sarong or stopped at the knee like a kilt it would look more masculine. Anyway, It's super-comfy and will make for awesome loungewear on warm summer evenings when nobody has to look at it but Lingoman.

Together, they are Dark Aloha, the 2012 Autumn resort wear mini collection from Taigh Sheumais Fashions.

Ding! Level 46!

As I've been thinking about writing this birthday blog post I have reached the conclusion that this year for me was about recording Baile Àrd and producing the CD release concert. Lots of other things have happened, but this was a life-changing experience.

I stopped writing updates about my recording project a really, really long time ago. From the point at which I realized I needed to do serious work on my singing skills I stopped most activities that weren't directly related to the project because I had this horrible anxiety that I was going to fail and that it would break my spirit to do so. I was terrified of how deep a depression I would fall into if I gave up on my CD. I went into a strange kind of survival mode and it has had some repercussions.

I finally started recording at Empty Sea Studios last September. Getting all my harp tracks down was just the beginning. As I ran into obstacle after obstacle I got very good at letting go of long-held wishes and finding a different way forward. I probably wouldn't have made it through without the wisdom and support of my engineer, Michael Connolly. He reassured me that what I was going through was normal and that it would be worth it, and he was certainly right. He expressed his view of the process once by saying "Making a CD is like pooping a diamond. It's really, really hard, but then you have a diamond."

CD package design, liner notes, and convincing the manufacturer that I really had the necessary license to record the copyright protected tracks took lots of effort and time while I was simultaneously producing and promoting the concert.

Posters, postcards, rehearsals, volunteers, CD sales, AND a big vinyl banner! It's one of those experiences that I look back on and wonder how I managed to do all those things. One at a time, I suppose. It was a magical night from load-in to cast party. There so much more I could tell about it, but maybe this is enough to make the point and bring me back around to the subject of my birthday.

It is my birthday, and in sharp contrast to many others, I'm actually feeing OK about it. There's something about having proven myself by making this CD that I love and am proud of that has changed everything. I can finally say to myself, "Self, have a happy birthday. You've earned it."

Perfect Pants Pattern: An Unfinished Quest

Ever since I finished Project 26: Boy's Kilt, I have been working on drafting and executing the perfect pair of pants for myself. I'm using Garment Designer 2.5 and discovering that even though there is a drop down sizing chart labeled "men" I have to keep a lookout for womenswear silhouettes. I made the mistake with the first pattern I drafted of going straight to fabric. I had a length of beautiful thick black linen that I had purchased back in January to make pants for my concert. Didn't quite make that deadline, but oh well!

The really great thing about Garment Designer is that you can set up slopers* for different people and then invoke them from the size drop-down and everything gets re-sized for the person's exact measurements. I, unfortunately, trusted that process a little too much. I got a pattern that fit me and I executed it with ease, but when I went to try them on, the waist was up where a woman's pant would be, covering my bellybutton. Not a good look on a man.

Back to the drawing board! I was heartbroken to have wasted that gorgeous fabric, so I decided to just use left-overs until I was absolutely sure the pattern was right. I had some of the beautiful brown wool from Project 12: Halloween Costumes left over, so after shortening the waist I printed out the new pattern, taped the pieces of paper together and made my plastic pattern pieces. Again, I executed the garment very well, but did so at night. With dark brown fabric and black interfacing. Imagine my horror when I had a very well-fitting pair of wool pants with one of the back pocket welts in black interfacing instead of brown wool. Grrr!

At least the wool was used up. Next I made a couple tiny adjustments and tried again with the leftover black linen from Project 17: Black Linen Dress Shirt . The execution was even better this time and I was sure that I had a hit. I wore them to perform at an event up in B.C. and my brave and wonderful fiancé informed me that the fabric was a little too light for pants. Ooops! Thank gods we have the kind of relationship that allows him to say things like "Honey, they're beautiful and everyone can see your underwear" without fear of repercussion.

So I'm taking a short break from the perfect pants pattern quest to sew up some resort wear for our upcoming trip to Maui. Stay tuned for my all black resort wear mini collection! After that, I'm conquering pants. Really.

* A sloper is a two-dimensional representation of a body which allows two-dimensional patterns to be adjusted precisely.